Why Singles are Single: 92 Reasons for Staying Single!

A study about Singles’ Reasons for Being Single, done by the National Library of Medicine, has investigated the reasons for singlehood by asking singles themselves. And in this article, we will summarize the reasons that 648 American singles mentioned it, and the researchers classified the 92 reasons into 18 broad factors and four general domains. 

Why Men Don't Want to be in a Relationship?

According to the study, men were more likely than women to indicate that they are single in order to: 

• Be free to flirt around. 

• Do what they want.  

• They are not into family making.  

Why Women Don't Want to be in a Relationship?

According to the study, women were more likely to indicate that they are single in order to: 

• Avoid getting hurt.  

• They had bad experiences from previous relationships. 

• They have considered themselves not to be desirable as mates. 

• Afraid of change 

Why Young People Don't Want to be in a Relationship?

According to the study, younger people were more likely to indicate that they are single because: 

• They have poor flirting skills. 

• They don’t see themselves as desirable mates. 

• They don’t like commitment. 

• They have different life-priorities.  

Why Older People Don't Want to be in a Relationship?

According to the study, older people were more likely to indicate that they are single in order to: 

• Be free to do what they want.  

• They had bad experiences from previous relationships. 

• They have issues such as poor health that has kept them back. 

Why Singles Are Single? 

Three main reasons have been proposed to explain why individuals who are single are single:  

• Because under certain circumstances being single can increase fitness. 

• Because of the evolutionary mismatch between ancestral and modern conditions. 

• Because of different constraints, some people may be less effective in participating in the mating market. 

92 Reasons for Staying Single 

According to a study about Singles’ Reasons for Being Single done by the National Library of Medicine, below are 92 reasons why singles are singles. Note that reasons are answered by a sample of 648 American singles:    

Low capacity for courtship 

1. Low capacity for courtship 

2. I am not good at flirting 

3. I am shy  

4. I am very introverted 

5. I am terrible at picking up on signals 

6. I am socially awkward 

7. I get high anxiety around women/men 

8. I do not know how to start a relationship 

9. I do not feel confident 

10. I fear rejection  

11. I am a boring individual  

12. I do not make any effort or make any moves to attract a potential partner 

13. I am not good at relationships 

14. I have no avenues for meeting available men/women 

15. I am not a desirable mate 

16. I am not good looking 

17. Because of my weight 

18. I have not achieved much in life, and I do not think I am attractive as a mate 

19. I believe that nobody wants to be with me 

20. My financial situation prevents me from having a relationship 

21. I fear that my negative aspects will be revealed 

22. I experience sexual difficulties 

23. I am not doing very well in the sexual domain 

24. Commitment scares me \ I do not like commitment 

25. Love scares me 

26. Change scares me 

27. I have not accumulated enough experiences to commit to a relationship 

28. I have a health/disability problem 

29. I have psychological problems 

30. I am going through a period of intense stress and anxiety 

Freedom 

31. I want to be free to do whatever I want 

32. I want to be able to go wherever I want without needing to answer to anyone 

33. I don't want to have to answer anyone about what I am doing 

34. I do not tolerate restrictions  

35. I want to be able to be myself 

36. I want to be free to chase my own goals 

37. I like to have my own space 

38. I want to not feel under pressure 

39. I am not willing to make compromises and concessions 

40. I want to have fewer obligations  

41. I want to avoid the responsibilities that a relationship entails  

42. I want to have more choices 

43. I want to be able to dress the way I want without having to answer anyone 

44. I want to avoid conflict 

45. I prefer to be alone \ I feel that I need some time alone 

46. I got used to being alone  

47. I am not the family type \ I do not want to have a family  

48. I believe that being in a relationship will not make me happier than I am right now 

49. I do not feel the emotional need to start a relationship  

50. I have different priorities 

51. I want to focus on my career 

52. I do not have enough time to devote to a relationship 

53. I worry that a relationship is going to be damaging for my career 

54. I do not feel ready to start a relationship  

55. I believe that I am too old to start a relationship 

56. I want to spend more time with my friends 

57. I want to have more time to spend with my friends  

58. I do not want to be alienated from my friends 

59. I am doing well right now 

60. I want to be free to flirt around 

61. I want to be able to have many casual relationships  

62. I want to have a freer sexual life 

63. I want to be free to flirt with whoever I want  

64. I want to be able to go out more often 

65. I want to not get bored 

Constraints from previous relationships 

66. I want to devote my attention to my children 

67. I have children from a previous relationship 

68. I have not gotten over my previous relationship 

69. I recently broke up 

70. I am grieving 

71. I fear I will get hurt \ I am afraid that I will get hurt again  

72. I am afraid that my partner will cheat on me 

73. I am afraid that my partner will stop loving me 

74. I am afraid that the relationship will fail 

75. I am afraid that what I will give to the relationship will be wasted 

76. I am afraid that I will be disappointed 

77. I do not trust men/women 

78. I do not trust easily 

79. Bad experiences from previous relationships 

80. I would not have to worry about where my partner is and what he/she is doing 

81. I want to avoid jealousy 

82. I am attracted to the wrong men/women 

83. I had many failures and I have given up trying 

84. I am too picky 

85. I cannot find someone interesting 

86. I cannot find the right one 

Personal constraints 

87. Because of my addictions (alcohol, drugs etc.) 

88. Because of my sexual orientation 

89. I need some time to decide about my sexual orientation 

90. My relationship may not be socially acceptable 

91. I cannot have children  

92. I move often so it is not easy to keep a relationship 

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